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boobquake: do a little dance, make a little love
dear readers, i truly hope that wherever your homes may be that each and every one has a firm foundation, because yesterday ladies from all corners of the western world were performing a sort of new age rain dance of seismic proportions in hopes to cause an earthquake. from sea to shining sea, plunging necklines were all that could be seen. it seems we have yet to hit high numbers on the richter scale, but according to hojatoleslam kazem sedighi of iran, we’re in for some serious trouble—and i fear it won’t be just one astronomical rumble us lassies are calling.
see hojatoleslam believes that earthquakes occur in response to the amount of scantily clad women of an area. that “women who do not dress modestly…lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which [consequently] increases earthquakes.” were this crazy notion in fact true, i’d be wont to think that those tectonic plates beneath us would be in constant motion and we’d be living among the rubble of our shattered cities as cleavage has become a customary accessory in the women’s department. as the years have progressed, our collars have recessed, and girls are baring more skin now than ever. is this the cause of the destructive forces that left haiti in ruins and crumbled chile’s santiago? if so, north america is due for some destructive forces, with pretty sizable tremors, i’m sure, as well.
and we can thank jennifer mccreight of purdue university for kindly expediting our journey to the dark side as she singlehandedly declared yesterday the first international “boobquake,” creating a facebook page that attracted more than 207,000 fans in just a day. jennifer encouraged women to “flesh it up” yesterday to see if all that visible cleavage could muster up some motion from the underworld.
lucky for us, the gods seem to be on our side—for now.
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