tuff titties

6th July 2010

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a supportive family

it’s important for our families to have our backs. often in life we are faced with hard decisions, and if we lack familial support, it can end up feeling like us versus the world—quite the burden for us to carry all by our lonesome if luck (or lack of it) would have it.

there is one british family, however, who seems to be doing quite fine in the support department, metaphorically and physically speaking.

meet the higleys. back in 2005, dad perry bought wife deborah a new set of knockers, and just this year came to the rescue once again by gifting new racks to both of his daughters as a joint birthday present: rose’s 19th and harriet’s 21st. “we’re a really close family, so having boob jobs together seemed the most natural thing in the world,” says harriet.

yeah, that’s totally natural. especially when it was mom who paved the way for her daughters’ extreme increase in chest size. “i remember when mum had hers done, i was so jealous,” says harriet. “i just wanted mine to look the same.”

“they could see the changes it had brought about in me, i was a totally different woman—happier and more confident,” says deborah. ”i know a lot of people would think it’s odd to encourage your teenage daughters to have cosmetic surgery, but unless you’ve been through the misery of having a flat chest, it’s hard to understand.”

well, deborah, i know i am not the only flat-chested female who finds it hard to understand your logic. aside from your decision to go under the knife so late in the game, how could you justify doing it while raising two teenage girls going through one of the roughest times of their lives, a time when their bodies are changing and they are trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their lives? having a role model like you, it’s no wonder they were obsessed with wanting their breasts to look like yours. because they did before your surgery, sporting, and obviously wanted to emulate your post-op bod, going from 32as to ds just like mumsy.

and that you have the audacity to label your “misfortune” as “the misery of having a flat chest,” well, quite honestly it’s people like you who make me sad for humanity. why can’t you just embrace who you are and the goods you were blessed with? i guess living in a country where the average cup size is a d, you were feeling a little left out.

and mr. higley? shame on you for enabling these acts of plastic violence. i hope you get a reality show that will make at-home viewers feel better about themselves, glad they aren’t as stupid or naive as your family.

it’s exactly what you deserve.

Tagged: breastsbreast implantsbritishfamily